Aging in place. It sounds like the ideal scenario for post-retirement living. In fact, that’s what most people initially think of when they picture their golden years.
But is aging in place really the best option for everyone?
The phrase ‘age in place’ originated in social service and academic circles. While various studies conclude that people generally want to ‘stay put’ for the rest of their lives, these surveys often lack qualifiers for a ‘staying put’ rationale.
They rarely give alternative living options and almost never define what aging in place actually means.
Because long-term care costs at the nursing level are extremely high, governmental agencies have a vested interest in perpetuating the message that staying in your current home is the best option.
For them, supporting older adults in the community is much less costly than paying for long-term care in a nursing home.
The message of “staying put at all costs” isn’t always the best option.
Taking Charge of the Future
Some may think they are somehow failing if they elect to move rather than stay put, when in fact moving may actually improve their overall lifestyle.
The better message should be to live in the ‘right’ place as we get older rather than simply to age in place.
Society says, “age in place as long as you can,” but who’s to say this will be as great as it sounds? For many growing old in the family home also means dealing with a big empty house, home maintenance, changing neighborhoods, loss of social connections and more.
Helen and Bill Gillespie recently moved to Spanish Cove, a continuing care retirement community. They considered aging in place, but realized to accommodate future health or mobility needs, they would have to eventually renovate their home.
“In the house we were in, that was just not an option. We knew it wouldn’t be the best place to get older,” Helen said.
Independence as the Ultimate Goal
Despite the increasing number of new communities, a stubborn stigma around retirement living persists.
For many, the thought of living in a “senior living community” evokes, at worst, visions of a sterile clinical facility, and at best, complete loss of independence while receiving care.
This image, however, no longer accurately depicts many modern senior living options.
In fact, there are plenty of people now electing to downsize voluntarily, moving out of their big homes and into senior communities.
People in this category are generally healthy, active, and financially capable of making the choice for themselves. Some want convenience and some want social connections. Reasons for moving vary greatly.
Gillespie added, “Ultimately adults of any age want to be in charge of their affairs. Who do you want to make your plans? Well, you do,” she said.
“We have five married daughters. We have watched our sons in law deal with parents who didn’t want to move and with moving parents who truly needed to. We didn’t want that. We made our choice – then we told the kids. They were all thumbs up,” Gillespie said.
Choice Versus Necessity
Moving involuntarily due to a medical emergency or because of pressure from family or physician can result in negative emotions and difficulty calling a new place home. Some fight against the perception that downsizing means loss of independence or somehow a personal failure.
People hold out as long as they can, staying put until they have a crisis and someone insists they move. At this point the options are usually limited. By waiting too long, they end up in a place they said they would never want live. Conversely, people making the choice themselves tend to thrive and adapt quickly.
Finding Your Right Place
Stan and Elisabeth Alexander also decided to make the move on their terms.
“Neither one of us really thought it was time to downsize, but at our age we try to cut back on a lot of things. My wife is a master gardener, but she got tired of gardening. She also got tired of cooking. And we wanted to travel more,” Stan Alexander said.
“At 84 and 83 we thought it may be a good time to look into it.”
Having lived in the same home in the Village in Northwest Oklahoma City for 46 years, the couple didn’t want to leave their community, but also didn’t want to manage a 2,300 square foot home.
They elected to move to a ground floor apartment in a nearby independent living community, only a couple of miles from their longtime neighborhood.
“This was the perfect place for us,” Stan said. “This morning my wife woke up and said ‘I’m really glad we live here.’ She’s a happy camper. And when she is happy, I am happy.”
Like the Gillespies, the Alexanders said it was a process. Both couples attended local educational seminars held by Oklahoma City based real estate and move management pro’s, learning all they could until their ideal solution took shape. Both agreed it was easier than anticipated.
If you or someone you know would like a complimentary downsizing coaching appointment, give us a call at 405.708.7010.
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