The word independence has been on my mind a lot lately. It sparked a realization that our lives are not as independent as we may think. As we approach Independence Day, it’s the perfect time to refresh our understanding and celebrate the interdependence that truly shapes our lives.
Thinking back…
Several years ago, as Chris and I were becoming empty nesters, I pondered the meaning of raising children to be self-sufficient adults, no longer relying on the household payroll.
Little did I know that this concept of independence would resurface later, as I contemplated what it means to live independently as we age.
In preparation for a panel a while back on “The Truth About Independent Living Options” at the Senior Living Truth Series, I found myself grappling with how to help the audience comprehend and embrace the idea of moving into a senior living retirement community at some point in the future.
Then, on the 4th of July, as I immersed myself in the celebrations of our country’s Independence Day, it hit me. I couldn’t help but notice the numerous people proudly donning shirts, shorts, and caps adorned with the American flag – many of which were likely manufactured in China.
It made me wonder if they had taken a moment to reflect on the true essence of what they were celebrating.
What is Independence, Really?
According to Merrium-Webster, independence is defined as “Not requiring or relying on something else.”
If this is the case, then true independence for us as human beings is an illusion. In reality, we rely on each other to a significant degree in nearly every aspect of our lives, making the concept of living independently 100% obsolete.
Consider this…
On a personal level, I rely on others, both paid and unpaid, for moral support, emotional guidance, and strength during challenging times. These individuals help me think clearly, work through tough issues, and provide the encouragement I need to keep going.
Moreover, I depend on skilled professionals to fix appliances, computers, furniture, cars, and other items essential to my daily life. Let’s not forget that someone manufactured, packaged, shipped, and sold me these products in the first place.
The same applies to food – I don’t grow my own produce, raise livestock, or brew my own beer.
When illness strikes or accidents occur, I seek medical help. Doctors, nurses, and other healthcare professionals aid in my recovery.
Additionally, there are those who provide me with essential items like ibuprofen and sunscreen – small necessities I’d be lost without. Hence, I rely on others for my well-being and overall health.
Even our shelter, like the condo we live in, is not a result of our own construction efforts. Others built it, and we enjoy the benefits of weather protection, climate control, and a space to cook and live comfortably.
Lastly, beyond our day-to-day needs, it’s important to recognize that many things we have in our lives are products of people we will never meet from places we might never visit. Our world is intricately connected.
International shipments arrive daily by boat and plane. This global economy, on which we all rely, is a clear testament to our interdependence.
Independent Thinking Can Create Problems
Striving for independence often leads to more problems than it does value. The idea of independent living is a fallacy that we’ve not only bought into but also celebrate.
This goal perpetuates a sense of failure from youth to old age, fostering a belief that keeps us separate, as if it’s “us vs. them.” In reality, we need each other and depend on one another in numerous ways.
Let’s Face It – We Are Interdependent!
While independence may seem like an admirable and desirable ideal, the truth is that we are completely and utterly interdependent. We may enjoy certain freedoms, asserting our rights as Americans, but these freedoms don’t equate to true independence.
The ability to make choices and be free from tyranny is one aspect, but it is not synonymous with independence. It’s crucial not to conflate the two.
Embracing Interdependence Through Freedom
If we were to embrace our interdependence, how would our lives change? Looking back, I wish I had taught my children the value of partnering and collaborating with others instead of insisting that they could do everything themselves.
Furthermore, embracing interdependence would alleviate the pressure of being a self-described control freak. It would allow us to make a more substantial impact and positive difference in the lives of others by recognizing the importance of teamwork and collaboration.
Aging would become easier if we embraced the idea of interdependence as an ideal, rather than labeling ourselves as weak, frail, or incapable when we ask for help.
Even the term “independent living” for senior communities is misleading since the very reason people move there is for the support they need, either now or in the future. Let’s call it what it truly is – interdependent living!
Observing people, especially in their later years, I see them struggle to do things on their own when a little help would go a long way.
Pride, Ego, and the Allure of Personal Independence
Before concluding, I must also address the misconception that embracing interdependence means relying on others to do everything for us, as if we’re entitled.
True interdependence is about reciprocation, contributing when we can, and receiving contributions from others throughout our lifetime. It’s about adopting an “us” mentality and cherishing the power of teamwork.
Celebrate Interdependence!
As we approach Independence Day, let us take a moment to reflect on our interdependence, our shared connections, and the ways in which we rely on one another.
Celebrate the beauty of collaboration, reciprocation, and the unity that emerges when we recognize and embrace our interdependence.
If you found this post valuable, I encourage you to share it with others and spread the message of interdependence.
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